shewalksbut0see

time to be

2007-04-18T01:42:29Z

hot now cold
sweaty palms
slid onto black leather
lights are (too) bright.
who knows how many eyes on me
but
mine stay fixed,
black white ivory.
a silent reflection
reveals
my fingers travel
the sound lost in the mix
SFZORZANDO!
no click of metronome
the pedal carries over
blending melody
singing
expressionne dulce
leading tone goes home
ritardando seals the end
swinging forward
resting hands SFZORZANDO!
Shattering applause.
now stand
butterflies have vanished.
all smiling
now
face the crowd.

sunlight breaking through, pushing back the gray

2007-01-15T22:21:41Z

so i talked to my dad, a teary talk.

but good.

he listened. he said that he feels obligated to people when he shouldn't too, and it's dangerous. so i shouldn't do it.

he said,

"you're free. don't worry about what you think or feel or don't feel. you can't stop him from loving you. you can't help it if people care for you. you're not obligated to him, you're obligated to God and me."

*father daughter hug*

i'm free.

*smile*

cheaters.

2006-11-09T20:43:33Z

watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-sIe3zDyeU

unsharpened pencils

2006-10-13T21:56:01Z

the spirit weighed
d
o
w
n
as the blue crushes all things
unresiliant.
pushed on this side
yanked upright
on the other
oh
that i were not underwater
my heart is, weakly, growing
(pressure's mounting)

heavy.

free verse (3)

2006-10-13T21:48:34Z

embrace not
be embraced
the hand held open,
waiting.
clasped gripped fingers hold
nothing but air.
an unseen hand appears
fresh love is bestowed.
comfort taken
sleep is given.

free verse (2)

2006-10-13T21:45:28Z

soft things beg for
just a touch,
but i cannot be
free for all
save one.
(or so i thought)
this before
i gave it
away.
a wilted rose,
a preemie born,
petals dead
flower gone
the child does not
lift its head.

free verse (1)

2006-10-13T21:38:16Z

you talk of my faults

that may be so many

but a bit of dust

compared to

your actions as a child

not caring to mention

the doings of your youth

not daring to whisper

what you did

only yesterday

shewalksbut0see @ 2006-05-13T22:56:00

2006-05-14T03:56:56Z

I'm so tired.

pinch me, I'm walking unawake.

found grace again

2006-02-08T21:34:28Z

welly well.......

lately i've wanted to talk to jesus more......but I haven't wanted to....so i would try and make myself. and then feel guilty for having to make myself talk to my bestest friend. Finally after a week of such legalistic thoughts and actions I remembered grace. meaning i don't deserve to talk to jesus, even when i am feeling on top of everything, and especially now. so i needed to get over myself , fall down and thank him for 324th chances. He is faithful, and i try. sometimes that has to be good enough,i know He understands and is here.

so yeah. I love Him so much.

I kind of get like his right before summer......all fall i actively want to grow, but then right before dnow and summer, i feel like not doing anything but having a pity party. so yeah. only gin would be reading this, so hey there girl. and even if she doesn't thats ok. sometimes you have to pour out you heart to the void. but ore than that i need to our out my heart to Him.

ill go do that now. thanks for listening void. and gin if you read this, i love you and am praying for you.

-me